RAYA IUBINESCU

Romania
End of 2024 - Beginning of 2025

it was a year about arising abiding and decaying
all at the same time, no time in between
it was about love with all its wonders
about death with all its pain
and everything else in between
with fake borders blurring

it was about saying goodbye to my last grandfather,
learned about his garden and promised to meet again
next time in between the flowers
“how is the apricot tree going? has the tree blossomed yet?
when the petals start to flow down, then that’s for insects…
everything must be such a beauty over there, like a crown!”
“the cherries began to bloom, the tulips came out as well,
the hyacinths are also in the vine!”
“it's not a luxury but it's nice that it's ours!”
“the lily flower has started to grow leaves!“
“o, how I miss it… “

it was about saying hello to my first niece, magnificent baby,
learning words again, adding concepts on all phenomena

it was about love and death in many shapes
deeply, new, old, poetic, excruciating, glitchy, inspiring

it was a year with many written thoughts
love letters for friends lovers and all beings
a year with and about hearts, stones and heart beats
sunflower faces in sunflower gardens

it was about intentionally working more for others
my second full year in a tibetan centre in foreign lands
meeting thousands of people on many levels
my second full year in asia, indian lower himalayas
learning to relax a lil bit more in this chaotic world

it was about studying and relearning how to study
discovering new favourite subjects: philosophical tenets,
metaphysics, ontology, epistemology, psychology,
asking questions about the mind, reality, existence

it was about writing thoughts and taking notes
using them in poems, love letters and books
somehow forgot that I was always shy or ashamed
about my lack of words, poor vocabulary 
but something happened in past years
now I don’t think of this anymore

it was about letting go of some other fears as well
and finally kind of swimming, but still learning
now definitely confident in water
looking forward to freediving

it was about archiving files and loving it,
rejoicing in people’s great works and qualities

it was a year about basic monumental situations
adrenaline rush in human slingshots

hopefully 2025 will be about
broadening the mind and digging for more courage
to really look at the entire existence, hold it dear,
challenging systems not following norms,
giving up privacy, truly appreciating the world,
never abandoning love for anyone,
being kinder to all creatures and nonbeings,
and please please please
growing a love like sun’s:

“Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
"You owe me."
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.”
― Hafiz